Their Bride (Marriage Lottery Series Standalone) Read online

  Ross nodded. Riordan had never been exactly the attention-to-details kind of guy, but Ross would take all the back-up he could get.

  Cam stepped forward and rubbed his thumbs over the nubby weave. “It’s rough. Not burlap exactly... Wool maybe?”

  Michael gave a little shudder.

  “Is there a yarn rougher than wool?” Riordan asked.

  “Let me feel it,” Michael said.

  Everyone’s head swung his direction.

  Ross had only briefly touched the cloth but it had felt rough and scratchy to him. And Michael could barely handle the silk clothes he wore touching his skin.

  But Michael’s jaw was clenched in determination.

  “Michael.” Vanessa reached up toward him. “You don’t have to.”

  “No,” Michael said. “Let me. I’ll tell you what it’s made of.”

  No one questioned him. His sensitivity meter was through the roof.

  Michael brushed his index finger over the fabric tentatively. Then he squeezed his eyes tight and sucked in a deep breath. His whole arm shook and sweat sprouted at his temple as he turned his wrist and took another pass with the back of his hand.

  Then he stumbled backwards, breathing as hard as if he’d just finished sprinting a mile.

  “Michael,” Vanessa cried.

  “It’s wool,” he said through gulps of air. “But not sweater wool. It’s coarser.” He shook his head, eyeing the cloak like it was poisonous. “Like woven sandpaper. Why someone would wear something like that…”

  “There’s more than one type of wool?” Riordan asked.

  “Yeah.” Michael gestured with his chin toward the fabric in Cam’s hands. “That’s like… the kind of wool they use in carpets. Probably from a llama.”

  Logan’s mouth popped open and he took a step back like Michael had just slugged him in the gut.

  “What?” Vanessa asked, moving like she was going to comfort him, but Logan held up a hand and shook his head.

  Vanessa stopped in her tracks and Ross didn’t miss the flash of devastation that crossed her face at Logan’s rejection.

  No, no, no. This was all wrong. They were a family. They were—

  “Our neighbors…” Logan finally managed to choke out. “Back in Austin before the Fall… They were of Mexican descent. The wife had a little farm, raised chickens and llamas. She sold eggs and spun wool for a farmer’s market every weekend.”

  The group let that sink in. Cam turned away from where they were all gathered, walking to the window.

  “Could still be a coincidence,” Ross said feebly, but not even he believed it. He watched Logan’s face. Whereas when Ross had come in he was stoic and blank, now every emotion flashed on his features: grief, terror, guilt…hope.

  “Jenny’s alive,” he said, his voice little more than a strained whisper. “She made it back to Austin. And I wasn’t there.”

  “You don’t know that, man,” Cam said, turning around from the window.

  But Logan just shook his head. “She was strong,” Logan said, finally looking at Vanessa. “Just like you. If she survived long enough to make it back from San Angelo, then to keep on going, she’s alive. I can feel it.”

  “So what does this mean?” Ross asked, and his voice broke on the last word before he cleared his throat.

  “It means I have to go,” Logan said. “With war breaking out… I have to find her and make sure she’s safe. I failed her once. I can’t do it again.”

  “What about Vanessa?” Ross cried. “So you’re just going to fail her instead?”

  Logan flinched at Ross’s words but Ross didn’t take them back. He couldn’t believe the things Logan was saying. Especially after Vanessa had shared her past with him and Riordan. This had to feel just like her father choosing her half-sister over her during the Death Riots, all over again. Worse, because Logan was her husband.

  Logan finally crossed the space between him and Vanessa, bowing his head and pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “You promised,” she whispered brokenly. “Last night you promised me forever.” Her bottom lip trembled as she looked up into his eyes.

  Logan looked gutted by her words.

  And Ross saw it clearly on his face.

  Logan loved her.

  He loved her as much as Ross did. Ross hadn’t said it out loud because, well, none of them had. He didn’t know why. But he figured he should take his cues from Vanessa and Logan because he didn’t know anything about women or romance.

  He saw now that had been the wrong move. He should have told Vanessa he loved her every day since the wedding. He should have shouted it from the rooftops. Whispered it in her ear while they made love. Written poems and sang songs to her letting her know in a thousand different ways.

  Ross should have done anything and everything so that when Logan pulled away from Vanessa yet again, there would have been some buffer from his continual rejection. So that Vanessa would have known, deep down to her soul, that she was loved.

  But he hadn’t, and he could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t know. She couldn’t even believe it was possible.

  “This is something I have to do by myself,” Logan said. “It’s too dangerous for you all to spend any more time than necessary on the road to the caves. I’ll try to meet you there… eventually.”

  But Vanessa was shaking her head.

  She swiped angrily at the tears that streaked her cheeks. Then she glared at Logan, fire burning away the despair that had been there only moments before.

  “We are Clan Washington. We’re strong together and weaker with any one of us gone. We’re family. If you go, you take our head. If you go, you take our name.”

  Logan threw his hands up. “What do you expect me to do?”

  “I expect you to take us with you,” Vanessa snapped. “We do this together. Or not at all.”

  “No.” Logan’s voice was adamant. “I refuse to put you in that kind of danger.”

  Vanessa’s chin ticked a notch higher and her eyes went icy with determination. “Well then I guess it’s a good thing we aren’t children who have to wait for your permission. Wherever you go, you can bet your ass your family will be following. Go ahead. Try to ditch us. I’ve tracked prey far scarier than you.”

  She stepped forward until she was chest to chest with Logan. “You really want to keep us safe? Travel with us. But we’re coming. End of story.”

  “Boys,” she said, eyes still locked with Logan’s, “start packing our gear.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  VANESSA

  That first day, they hiked for six hours, not including breaks. They walked in pairs, separated by rugged terrain, but always remaining within earshot of each other. Vanessa always made sure to pair with Logan, thinking that maybe during the hours on the trail she could get through to him.

  A switch had been flipped when he tried to leave them earlier. She knew the situation they found themselves in was difficult. Impossible even, maybe.

  But she refused to let Logan go without a fight.

  After all the weeks—months—of feeling so unsure of herself, Logan had promised her he’d be hers always. And damn it, she was claiming him.

  Screw the universe. Screw fate.

  Maybe the only way you got anything in this life was by fighting tooth and nail for it. She hadn’t escaped Lorenzo Bernal, the most ruthless flesh trader in all of the Republic by just sitting back on her laurels and hoping fate would set her free.

  No. She watched and waited and taken her chance. She’d taken down Jack. She’d stolen their truck after Lorenzo shot her. When the truck ran out of gas, she’d dug the damn slug out of her thigh and patched it up by cutting up the seatbelt and using it as a bandage.

  Then she’d kept running, or well, hobbling, but she hadn’t let it stop her. She managed to make it to the river and threw herself in it with what felt like the last of her strength. She rode the current until she was miles and mile
s downstream from where she’d ditched the truck. And then she’d dragged herself up the muddy banks, nothing but her captor’s knife to her damn name, and kept on fucking surviving.

  Because she was not a goddamned quitter.

  As for all the other conflicting emotions and questions warring inside her chest… Did she want Logan to find Jenny?

  She was terrified that she didn’t want that—terrified of what kind of person that would make her.

  Because she loved Logan. Why hadn’t she ever told him? They’d whispered about forevers but not once about love.

  And if she said it now, it would sound like a plot to manipulate him.

  But she did.

  She loved him.

  And that meant she wanted him to find Jenny. Because she saw how it was tearing him apart. Thinking he’d failed her. If he never found her, Vanessa wasn’t sure he’d ever stop tormenting himself.

  So she wanted him to find his first wife.

  But what would it mean if he did?

  Luckily the hike itself soon became too strenuous to keep obsessing. It was all she could manage to keep one foot in front of the other.

  If she had to guess, she would have said the hiking boots Ross found for her weighed nearly as much as she did. But maybe that was normal. She’d never been much of a hiker. Once she found a place that felt safe, she tended to hunker down. That’s what she’d done in Marble Falls where she built her first shelter, and then later in the cave near the Pecos River. Come to think of it… That’s what she’d done in Jacob’s Well.

  These beautiful men—strangers just two short months ago—were now her safe haven.

  Ross, Riordan, and Logan had looked at the map and set out their course before they left this morning.

  It was going to be a long trip, and it was more than just the fifty-miles of winding paths toward San Antonio. There was also a wide band of hilly, overgrown land to cover. There would be doors to knock on, and random abandoned houses to explore.

  While it would take Nix and the other Jacob’s Well clans only days to get to the caves, it would probably take Clan Washington weeks. Maybe months before they found Jenny—or before Logan gave up and mourned her all over again.

  They had the ATV but it was loaded with supplies so, at most, only two could ride on it. The rest of them walked. At least it turned out all those hoarded food supplies were good for something after all.

  They passed a few dilapidated farmhouses and Vanessa hid while they inquired after Jenny. No one knew anything about her or any of the groups the smuggler had mentioned.

  At nightfall, they reached their planned meeting spot. The twins had gone ahead on the ATV to set up camp and Vanessa was relieved to find the twins not tied to a tree, and with the canvas tent standing upright and a welcoming campfire snapping in the twilight.

  They’d also cooked polenta with some wild greens and a bit of smoked meat left over from the hog.

  “That smells like heaven,” Vanessa said, dropping onto the ground and unlacing her boots. Oh God it felt good to pull them off. She yanked her socks off too and grabbed her flip-flops from her bag. Texas grass was always full of burrs so you could never just walk around in your bare feet, but she didn’t even want to look at those freaking boots again until she absolutely had to tomorrow.

  She dropped her face into her hands.

  God, would tomorrow be any better in terms of getting through to Logan? Because today had been an absolute disaster.

  Every time she tried to broach the subject of Jenny, he shut her down. He didn’t want to talk about the possibility of bringing her into their clan, should they find her. He didn’t want to talk about how Vanessa would be totally fine if he wanted to be married to two women.

  This strange new world is all about changing the rules, she’d said. We’ll figure something out.

  She meant it, too. She didn’t know exactly how, but she’d do anything not to lose Logan.

  He’d only ignored her, though.

  He said he didn’t feel like talking about it and then started walking faster. She had no chance of keeping up with his long legs. He’d stop every so often so she could catch up but only so he could take off again.

  Even now he took his soup bowl and walked to the furthermost edge of the light the fire cast. He sat down to eat, his back half-turned to the rest of them.

  Enough.

  This was bullshit and she was going to call him on it.

  Camp was set up for the night. There was nowhere for him to run.

  She grabbed her bowl of polenta and marched right up to Logan, plopping herself down on the grass beside him.

  “You can stop with the martyr act any time now,” she said acerbically. “You’re not the only one this is happening to, you know?”

  He winced at her words but she didn’t take them back.

  “I don’t know why you won’t at least talk to me about it. Let’s figure this out.”

  With every word, she felt him shrinking further and further inside himself, though. She wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled and he stopped being so goddamned stubborn.

  “I wasn’t just saying shit earlier when I said we could find a way to make it work. It’s not a crime to love both of us.”

  She only realized what she’d said after the words were out of her mouth, but Logan’s head jerked up to face her.

  Shit. Shit shit shit.

  Every impulse in her shouted at her to take it back. To sputter that she meant “love” as a euphemism or metaphor or some other b.s.

  But this was a fight for her life.

  Time to put all her cards on the table.

  So she squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye. “I love you, Logan. Maybe you don’t feel the same for me yet, but if you just gave it time, I know—”

  “Stop,” he said, voice thick with anguish as he pulled her into his arms. The weight of relief that swept through her body at feeling his strong arms around her—God, she thought she might choke with sheer happiness.

  Turned out she didn’t know happy because the next words that fell out of his lips topped her all time moment of favorite moments in her life:

  “Of course I love you, Vanessa. I wanted to make you mine from almost the first moment I laid eyes on you. I love you more than words can say.”

  Did he— Had she just heard what she thought she’d heard?

  “Logan—”

  “No. Let me finish. This isn’t about love. It doesn’t matter if I love you. You’re too young to understand, but—”

  “Don’t do that.” Her throat was thick as she said it. For him to tell her he loved her one moment and dismiss her the second, it was almost more than she could bear.

  “I wouldn’t make you choose,” she said, swallowing hard and trying to keep her shit together. “Believe me, I understand more than anybody what it’s like to love more than one person. It doesn’t mean that love is any less real.”

  She took a deep breath because the next part was going to be hard to get out but she’d decided if it meant keeping Logan, she’d make any sacrifice. “And if you feel like it’s what you’ll need to honor your marriage vows to her, I’ll give up my claim on your body.”

  He expelled a harsh breath at her words. Good. Maybe it meant she was finally getting through to him.

  “But I will never,” she grabbed his arm, “never, do you hear me, give up my claim on your heart.”

  The haunted look in his eyes didn’t change though. If anything, her words only made him look more tormented as he pulled away from her, shaking his head.

  “I don’t deserve your loyalty.” He stood up and backed away from her. “You’re young. You don’t know what you want. Or what’s good for you. I’m not it. But you have four men that are.”

  “Logan,” she cried, unable to fight the swell of tears.

  “I’m gonna go for a walk.”

  And all she could do was watch his back as he disappeared into the darkness.

  Chapte
r Twenty-Five

  CAMDEN

  Cam heard every word between Vanessa and that stupid son of a bitch motherfucker. There she was, the most beautiful, sweet, goddess of a woman in the whole goddamned world, pouring her heart out, begging to be loved— And what did that fucker do?

  He threw it back in her face and walked away.

  Cam seethed about it until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Vanessa was remote and withdrawn all through dinner and cleanup. They were all exhausted from everything that had happened that morning to the long day’s hike, so they all climbed into the tent not long after the dishes were done.

  Even Logan, who’d come back from his “walk.”

  He was sleeping at the far end of the tent and for all Camden cared, he could be sleeping outside. Maybe the world would do them a favor and a bobcat would come in the night and they’d be done with the big bastard.

  Thinking about Vanessa’s drawn face throughout dinner had his blood heating all over again.

  Cam shoved Ross out of the way and took the spot on the spread out sleeping bag beside her. He needed to be beside her. To protect her from Logan hurting her any more. To somehow make her feel better.

  She’d stripped down to just a camisole and underwear, it was so hot, even during the night. Cam and the others only had on their boxers—all except Logan who still had his damn jeans on.

  Cam looked at Vanessa lying beside him.

  She wasn’t sleeping.

  Over the past months he’d spent so much time watching her. Studying her every move, her every sound.

  When she was sleeping, she’d breathe in this calm, steady way, occasionally with the cutest little snore.

  Cam hadn’t known snoring could be cute. And he’d never imagined that lying next to a woman while she did it could be so… peaceful. Especially after they’d just fucked. She was almost as bad as a guy, often falling asleep within minutes after.